Sudden Expected Repose Syndrome (SERS)

 Press Release for Thursday, February 10, 2022.

Statistics from the CDC on mortality rates have just been released and what they tell us many will find alarming.  It seems deaths are up, and yet we have not been able to find out what is causing these deaths.  There are some peculiarities about these statistics: young, healthy people are dying suddenly.  These are young people who for the most part had no previous morbidities, and so to many these deaths may seem unexpected.  We reached out to the worlds top medical expert Bill Gates to see if he had any insights into why people are all of a sudden dying:

"It is true that people are dying suddenly," Gates said in a squeaky voice.  He continued: "We need to have a conversation about death and rethink the cause of death.  Previously people thought that death would usually happen to old and sick people, but we are finding out that this really isn't the case.  Young and healthy people die suddenly, and this is normal."

The Center for Disease Control is labeling this new pattern of death SERS, which stands for Sudden Expected Repose Syndrome.  The name is meant to make people feel more comfortable with the fact that anybody can die at any time, and that it should be "Expected."

So the next time you are driving and you see a jogger fall over and die on the side of the road, remember that this is completely normal.  Trust the science!


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